A South Park Zombie Fanfiction: The Children
by holyshitsouthpark
Summary: "Everyone I know is dead, everyone you know is dead. How am I supposed to lighten up when there's no point?" Indeed dead, and walking. It's been 6 months and the kids are left to fend for themselves against the elements. How much can they endure? Zombies, drama, romance? Only if you want there to be.
1. 6 Months

"...and these children that you spit on, as they try to change their worlds are immune to your consultations. They're quite aware of what they're going through..."

-David Bowie

* * *

Light only shown through one window in the entire house. The flickering blue and white hues illuminated out into the night from that third story window; if it weren't for this one source of light, one might think South Park was a ghost town. There were not supposed to be lights on at this hour, unnecessary attention would not be welcomed. But nonetheless, leave it to Kenny McCormick himself not to follow the rules.

He laid sprawled out on the full sized bed, covers disheveled and beer cans on every flat surface in the room. Kenny stared blankly at the massive flat screen TV mounted on the wall in front of him. If it weren't for the TV, the room would have been pitch black, just like the rest of the rooms in the mansion.

The screen showed as John Bender, played by Judd Nelson, walked through the empty football field as he raises his fist in the air.

Kenny knew the movie by heart, he's seen it enough times by now.

"But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain," Kenny mouthed along while maintaining his blank disposition, "and an athlete, and a basket case, and a princess, and a criminal."

"…And a fatass, a Jew, a pansy…" he paused to take a swig from the bottle he found in his hand, "and a loser."

And the picture dimmed while the credits rolled in the background.

If it were only a few months prior, Kenny would not have been able to quote the movie so keenly, but seeing that the only DVDs he's been able to find in that labyrinth of a house had either Molly Ringwald or Anthony Hall featured in it… Let's just say Kenny has both The Breakfast Club and 16 Candles committed to memory.

He continued staring at the high definition display until the copyright warnings popped up and the DVD skipped to the main menu.

With a clank Kenny dropped his now-empty bottle onto the ground with the others and reached for the remote to turn off the DVD player.

His torso hurt as he sat up and hunched over. His limbs hurt. His head hurt.

Successfully reaching the remote, Kenny flicked the player off and he was left with an empty blue screen staring back at him. The last lines from the movie were playing over and over in his head, as well as the ones he added himself.

_Labels. They're useless_, Kenny somehow managed to deduce through his wasted state. The Breakfast Club was one of those movies though, based on teenagers for teenagers, to teach them that everyone has their own personal problems and that it's okay to have them.

"Fuck problems," Kenny huffed as he threw the remote across the room.

_What problems did those kids even have, _Kenny thought as he rubbed his temples. _Bullshit_.

A fatass and a Jew, his friends were indeed, but Kenny didn't really think Stan was a pansy. He was a nice person and he could be tough when he wanted, but Ken deemed Marsh too emotional to claim any other label that came to mind.

Kenny was a loser. At least, he truly believed so himself. He was useless; scum. He could be out helping the others, but no, instead Ken had isolated himself yet again, just to watch petty movies and drink.

"Fuck the others."

He could hear a ruckus coming from outside his closed and locked door, only to be the product of an enormous fatass climbing his way up the stairs.

"Kenny!" Cartman's nasally voice called, "Kenny wake the fuck up and get the hell down here before I kick you in the balls!"

And just like that, he stampeded his way back down the stairs.

The blonde ratty-haired boy laid there on his soiled covers for quite some time before even considering getting up. When he did stand up a wave of nausea rushed over him.

Clenching his stomach with one hand and rubbing his eyes with the other, Kenny stumbled over to turn off the television and then onward to the door. After unlocking it, he stepped out and attempted to find his footing as he made way down the 2 flights of stairs.

* * *

Despite the outward appearance of the house, the first level of Token's mansion was extraordinarily bright.

Kenny stepped into the room that held what looked like the surface of the sun and shielded his eyes.

"Kenny!" Kyle called out.

Stan looked up from a box he was rummaging in, "oh hey, Ken."

Ignoring the friendly greetings, Kenny found himself a chair and slumped into it.

From the darkened hallway came Token followed by Cartman, "I told you I got him out of that room. You owe me cheesy poofs."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll get your cheese poofs later," Token replied only half-mannered after seeing that for once, the dumbass finally did something right.

"They're called chees_y _poof-" Cartman got cut off as Clyde Donovan ran past, pushing him to the side, "AYE!"

"Kenny!" Clyde exclaimed most enthusiastically as he took a seat next to the exhausted-looking Kenny.

Token walked up and stopped in front of them.

"Yes, Kenny," he began while eyeing Clyde for his rambunctiousness, "I've been wanting to talk to you about something."

This conversation was inevitable, Kenny supposed. He already knows what is going to be said, how Token is about to put down the law.

Token crossed his arms and shifted his weight in hopes to get more of Kenny's attention, seeing that he looked very far away in that exact moment.

"Ken, I think it's about time for you to start pulling your own weight around here."

_And boom goes the dynamite._

It was obvious not only to Kenny, but to the rest of the group. He was the useless tagalong. There was nothing that Kenny ever did to help suppor- his train of thought was thrown off as he heard a gun being cocked.

He quickly looked up only to find, in his dazed state, Stan reloading his shotgun.

_Oh yeah, _he barely comprehended, _everyone has a gun now._

Stan, noticing he startled Kenny with the sudden noise, apologized, "oh shit, sorry Ken. I was looking for the Ak-47 ammo and-"

"Its fine, Stan." Kenny slurred, rubbing his temples again, "Why is it so fuckin bright in here."

Token snapped his fingers, "that reminds me; you can't keep using the electricity whenever you want to. It's not fair to the rest of us, and it's dangerous."

Kenny grunted in response. He knew these things, he just didn't care.

"We keep the lights on in here because this is where the weapons are stashed and we don't want them being shot off in the dark."

Kenny grunted again.

Clyde, who was listening rather intently, gently shook Kenny by his shoulder, "oh lighten up, Ken!"

The dirty-blonde boy shot his eyes open and glared at Clyde.

"Lighten up. LIGHTEN UP?!" Kenny stood up abruptly and knocked his chair back, "EVERYONE I KNOW IS DEAD. EVERYONE _YOU _KNOW IS DEAD. HOW THE _FUCK _AM I SUPPOSED TO LIGHTEN UP WHEN THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO POIN-"

The rush of adrenaline hit Kenny like a fist in the face as he fell to the ground.

Everything went black, cold, and silent.

Kenny's last thoughts that night were self-pity and remorse. He felt bad not doing anything around the house, but his points were valid.

Everyone they knew, in fact, were dead.

Dead, and walking.

It's been 6 months and they were just a bunch of kids left to fend for themselves against the elements.

Kenny wasn't sure how much more he could endure of it.


	2. Cartman's Lament

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival."

- C. S. Lewis

* * *

Cartman slammed his door shut behind him

_Who does Token think he is? _He thought angrily as he kicked at the mess on the ground, _telling me I have to sort my shit._

He could see why Token cracked down on Kenny, Kenny was a piece of poor shit. Cartman, though, he was the leader. He was meant to be on the frontlines of duty, not being made to clean up his act, and his room.

After he continued to kick around the piles of trash that had accumulated in the room, he stood in front of a crudely-drawn map of South Park that was hung up unevenly on the wall.

Crossing his arms behind his back, Cartman focused on the pins and strings he has stuck all over the map.

_Times have been rough, _he thought. He looked outside, it was early morning and a dim misty light beamed into the small room.

The fat boy started pacing.

_It might have begun at Skeeter's Bar and Cocktails. No place would have been any better, after all._

He stopped in front of the window and looked down at the empty streets.

_It was always full of old, drunk, senseless men who have no means of self-defense. That was probably how it spread so quickly._

_A stranger is all it'd have to take, to walk into the bar one night. They'd have been greeted with something along the lines of "hey stranger, we don't take kindly to your kind around here," which more than likely followed by a "now Skeeter…"_

Cartman glared with angst at the mess behind him.

_But no one really knows how it all went down that night. _

In the midst of the mess, something caught Cartman's attention. He bent down and brushed away all of the crumpled up pieces of paper and threw the bags of half-eaten food to the side.

There it was.

"Clyde Frog."

He lifted up the ragged-looking stuffed toy and held it in his palms.

_The only thing everyone was fully aware of was that one day parents were sending their kids off to school while they went to work, then the next they were either barricading their houses or fleeing the county._

_Once fear struck the little town of South Park, things changed immediately. _

_Some families decided it'd be better leaving everything and everyone behind, and so they packed up the minimal, and fled. Some even left their kids behind, in fear that what was outside the city walls was worse than what was within._

In distress, Cartman clenched the toy in his hands.

_Those who fled included Sharon and Shelly Marsh, they wanted nothing to do with South Park anymore; things had gotten out of hand. Randy insisted on staying, and just like that- they parted. Stan was torn but ultimately decided to stay with his dad._

_Gerald and Sheila Broflovski fled with the others, Kyle put up a fight to be allowed to stay. In fact, it wasn't a mutual agreement, Kyle forced his Jew family to leave without him and Ike. Kyle wanted to stay with his friends, just like the crybaby he is._

Cartman rubbed his thumb against the stitching on one of Clyde Frog's limbs, where his mom once mended the toy for him.

_My mom._

He walked over to the window once again and watched the empty sky with the sun shining high above.

_Liane Cartman did not hesitate to leave her son behind, though it is debatable whether she believed it was safer inside versus outside the town. Either way, she left her son alone._

Setting Clyde Frog next to him, Cartman leaned on the windowsill with his head bent down, his bangs falling in front of his face.

_Carol and Stuart McCormick stayed, believing their poor asses could do the town some good with their street knowledge. Kevin McCormick, though, fled the little town by himself. Kenny and Karen stayed with their parents._

_Craig Tucker's family all stayed, his mother, father, and little sister. It was like a Tucker family frenzy with all of their flipping off and silent mannerisms._

_Clyde Donovan's dad stayed._

_Token Black's parents left but he put up a fight. He wanted to stay with his friends, it was his gut instinct._

_Tweek Tweak's mom and dad left without a second glance in Tweek's direction. Legend has it that their final words to him were "don't forget to drink your coffee, Tweek."_

_Butter's mom and dad forced him to flee with them, much to Butter's discern._

_Bitch Testeburger's family wanted to leave with the other parents, but since Boo-Wendy put up a _vicious _fight, they stayed in spite of her._

_No one knows what happened to Bebe Steven's family, or at least I don't. I never asked. One could assume that her father had no ulterior motive to stay with his family, one could assume her mom was too blond to stay with her only daughter._

He stood up straight and crossed his arms behind his back again.

_There are many singular people who made their own decision._

_Jimbob and Ned took refuge in the gun shop, officer Barbrady fled the instant pressure was put upon him. Some heard that the Goths stayed and the Vampire kids wimped out._

_For the rest who stayed, they collectively took action. They used scrap metal to border buildings, to create walls, and to wield weapons of their own._

_They set up simple yet intricate alarm systems, such as a bell on a string or barbed wire that they hooked electric up to. The adults took charge of the city limits and used the wall that once kept out the Mongolians to help prevent the spread of this disease. Instead, it just made it spread quicker within the town._

A quick movement caught Cartman's eye out the window, he glanced down and saw a black cat scurrying across the street. He sighed deeply.

_With everyone either leaving or working on protecting themselves, there was no time for pets. Stan had to set his dog loose and only God knows what Craig did with his guinea pigs._

Cartman slammed his fist down on the sill, almost knocking Clyde Frog off the edge.

_ I had to let Mr. Kitty go about his way. Maybe he will take up breading in another town nearby, or maybe he'll find a nice she-cat and start a happy family. Wherever Mr. Kitty ends up, I send him my luck._

The emotional-stricken fatso sorted himself and propped Clyde Frog up on the ledge.

_After the separation of the families happened, kids and adults alike started making their own hideouts and safe havens. Some decided to camp out in abandoned buildings, their own homes, shops, a few were told to be hiding in the theater. Others thought they were safe enough on the roofs of buildings and in huge stores, but everyone learned quickly that if there's a big space with more than two entrances, you're not as safe as you think._

A knocking came from outside the door, disrupting Cartman's inner monologue, "Hurry up fatass! We have to get going for supplies soon."

Cartman muttered under his breath, "God I hate you Token."

"I heard that."

The fat boy let out a deep sigh as he took a step back and looked down at Clyde Frog.

"Fuck off, Token."

With that note, Token left with a 'hmph'. Cartman saluted Clyde Frog and took a 180 turn to march towards the door.

_I should be team leader. Everyone else can suck my balls._

Cartman gripped the doorknob in his big hand, and clenched it tight.

_Who does he think he is._

* * *

A big thanks to Danny for helping me with this chapter and the opening quote!

I'm honored to have such great of a writer as you to be helping me.

-holyshitsouthpark

(Danny's tumblr: .com)


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